I am trying so hard to be strong
He dropped off the kids tonight and sped out of the driveway. I had things I needed to discuss with him . I didnt get to see anything of him but his tailpipe. (on a fancy ass truck he wouldn't have if I hadnt been paying bills and taking care of his shit for 10 yrs) Cant bother him with trivial shit like what bills to pay or feeding the kids I guess. I had such a high image of him, I thought he was the perfect husband and father. My image is crumbling and I fear the kids and I are in for a huge suprise. I wonder how it feels to walk away, must not be too bad cuz he is doing a great job of it. I am losing hope and it hurts . Never , ever, ever again wil I place all my faith in someone other than my kids and myself. I am starting to think he is a liar, he doesnt nor will he always love me, he is never coming home , he is biding his time till he can take off to Idaho for a job. Good intentions will only get him so far. he will come see the kids a few times a month then soon it will be a few times a year. Thier hearts are so broken . So is mine. he has things to do!!!! I don't see what, I am paying bills(with both our cash mind you)but still paying them, taking care of the kids, keeping our household running ..... But still he has things to do so he can't even get out of the truck. typical.